“It was ten years before I could cry,” he says gently. “I got her home, I got her buried, and then I pushed it to the back of my mind. I had to. I had to hold it in, otherwise, I would have lost my job.” His voice is soft and I can tell he […]
Lives Lost – The Recent Catastrophic Changes To Cancer Care During Covid-19
Michael died on a cold sunlit day following months in hospital. A childhood cancer survivor, he’d developed secondary cancer aged 26. His older sister Julie was at his bedside. His mother, whom I’ve known for years, was not. She’d been denied visiting access following his hospital admission. The tragedy here is that this young man […]
Redefining Christmas And The New Year
Oh, how I used to love a big, sparkly Christmas! All of us together, the decorations, carols playing, and food prepared – the excitement, the hugs, the smiles, the presents placed under the Christmas tree. We would sing, feast, and afterward sit snuggly for hours. But then it stopped, extinguished as if it had never […]
I Did Not Get To Say Goodbye
It’s what I didn’t say that hurts. It’s not being able to go back and tell him all those things that swirl wildly in my mama-heart. When I didn’t get to say goodbye, my unspoken words were lost in air so thin they could not find my son who’d died. In December 2014, Alex was […]
The Love Of A Mother: Searching For Justice In The Death Of Jiah Khan
“I feel deceived. Angry. No one wants the truth. They’re just interested in a story, any story but not the facts,” explains Rabya Khan. “I’ve been fighting for over seven years. It’s exhausting.” Rabya is a mother who has single-handedly taken on the police and Indian criminal justice system. She exudes love, strength, and determination. […]
Should Grief Be A Disorder? The APA Thinks So.
The American Psychiatric Association is creating a new grief disorder with which to diagnose the bereaved. Hard to believe, right? As if we didn’t have a plethora of diagnoses hanging over our heads already, we’re now having another one thrown at us: ‘Prolonged Grief Disorder’. For those who are new to the DSM-5, let me […]
Losing Your Child To Domestic Violence: The Grief Which Follows Intimate Partner Homicide
It was a summer morning in Michigan. The phone rang. The caller told Cheryl that it was an emergency. “It was 8:08 am,” she says quietly, her voice breaking. “I’ll never forget.” We’re talking about the events leading up to the death of Julie, her 27-year-old daughter. “I hadn’t slept well that night, not sure […]
The Lives Left Behind: How Do We Pack Up Our Child’s Belongings?
Our child’s belongings feel sacred. Letting go of them is unbearably painful. Instead, we become guardians of their possessions. We look after them as if our lives depended on it. But what happens when we have no option but to downsize? Or circumstances dictate that we must get rid of what’s been left? What then? […]
The Grief Fog That Comes With Loss
“How could you forget?” he asks, looking at me incredulously. “Really? Again?” He’s right. How could I forget? But then, these days, I forget a lot of things. “I’m sorry,” I say. His irritation hurts me, as does my own frustration at not remembering the simplest of things. I seem to live in a perpetual […]
Sorrow Dance
You live in spaces between our words And in the corners where the light, Surprised, Falls quietly against the floor. In a green or blue or muted brown, The brightest orange And blackest gown. In darkness and bright rays, Wisps of grass can hold your breath, A drop of rain your smile, The […]