Shock is the body’s response to child loss. It shields you temporarily from the enormity of what has happened. It may last only a matter of hours or perhaps several months. Yet at some point, the shock will subside and like a raging tide sucked back out to the sea it’ll reveal the corroded horror […]
The Reflection In The Mirror
I recently read an article by a child-loss mother who wrote of how she no longer recognized herself in the mirror. Her achingly beautiful words stopped me in my tracks, and I was transported back to the days of early grief when the agony of losing my son was so great that it felt as […]
The Dos And Don’ts Of Talking To Homicide-Loss Parents
Most people don’t know how to speak to a homicide-loss parent. They’re lost for words. I get that — homicide is very frightening. So, here’s a list of dos and don’ts to remember: 1. Call the murder victim by their name. Homicide loss survivors are no different from other child loss parents or siblings — […]
Day Of Action — 7 children shot dead every day in the US is 7 too many
We may all have different opinions regarding gun control, and that’s our right and how it should be. But whatever our views, that does not mean we shouldn’t support the amazing students marching peacefully this Friday. The April 20 Day of Action marks the anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting in Colorado in 1999 […]
Walk Out, Get Angry: A Homicide-Loss Mother’s Perspective on the Florida School Shooting
As news reports of the High School shooting in Florida hit my computer screen I felt my heartbeat quicken and my mouth go dry. The students’ screams of terror were like a punch to my stomach leaving me winded and crying. This is a common response if you’re a homicide-loss mother. Parents of murdered children […]
Anniversaries I Never Even Knew Existed
The 26th March 2018 will mark the first anniversary of the start of the trial. On that day a year ago, I drove myself and my family to the Courthouse, parked the car and nervously walked up the steps to the entrance under the watchful gaze of lawyers, officials, and the public. I’ve tried not […]
A Four-Part Article on Homicide Loss — Part 1 The challenges faced by homicide loss families
I am a co-victim of homicide, a murder survivor. Some refer to me as the mother of the boy who was killed. At times, it feels as if I don’t even have a name, such is the stigma surrounding homicide. Whatever the term, the fact is that my wonderful, funny, bright, handsome 23-year-old son was […]
Part II Homicide Series — Murder As Entertainment And The Psychology of Fear
In this the second article in the series on homicide loss I look at the challenges faced by co-victims in dealing with society’s response to their loss. Our society is fascinated by crime. Murder sells, violence sells, drama sells. Photos and films repeatedly glamourize the action and thrill of police and detective stories, as well […]
Part III Homicide Loss Series — Crisis, Trauma and the Justice System
This, the third article of the four-part series on homicide loss explores in more detail the difficulties faced by co-victims and how those in their community can help them. The first area of focus — support during the legal process — deals with the justice system and how it affects homicide survivors. In the second […]
Part IV Homicide Loss Series — Emotional Support in the Initial Stages and Beyond
In this fourth and final article in the series on homicide loss, I look at the psychological and emotional challenges co-victims face, and how friends and family can support them. For a complete understanding of the material covered, it should be read in conjunction with the other articles already published. The series has been divided […]