Alongside the devastating realization that I’ll never hug my son Alex or hear his voice again is the execrable thought that he suffered in his last moments alive. The idea that my child was in pain and terrified as he died is a nightmare shared and revisited by parents and loved ones of homicide victims […]
A Conflict Of Interests: An Open Letter To Dr. Pies
Dear Dr. Pies, Whilst I appreciate your courteous reply to my article “I’m Not Sick, I’m Grieving — The Day Grief Was Medicalized” published August 22nd, 2019, I do take issue with a number of the points you make. I also note, without meaning to sound churlish, that you failed to apologize for your “very […]
I’m Not Sick, I’m Grieving — The Day Grief Was Medicalized
When someone we love dies, it hits us hard. When it’s our child, it annihilates us. It’s not surprising then, that traumatic grief makes us feel we’re going crazy. Often, and understandably, we turn to medical professionals for help. When my son was killed, I didn’t know how to manage my suffering. Two months post-loss, […]
Victim Impact Statements Should Never Be ‘Edited’ By The Guilty Party – But They Are
Earlier this year, a criminal defense barrister in England made an application to the sentencing judge on behalf of his client, a man who was guilty of killing four-year-old Violet-Grace Youens and of causing severe injuries to her grandmother in a hit-and-run. The lawyer persuaded the Court that his client would find the contents of […]
Learning To Speak Our Truth: Grief Secrets Part 2
Learning to express the feelings that weigh us down in grief without having to apologize for them is vitally important in coming to terms with the death of our child or loved one. It doesn’t matter whether we tell a friend or stranger, speak it out loud in the forest or into the wind, or […]
Grief And The Secrets We Keep
Have you ever had dark grief thoughts that made you feel ashamed? Do you hide feelings because you think they’re ugly? Do you have a secret about the death of your child that you fear others will find out? Rest assured, you are not alone: we all have Grief Secrets. I Have A Secret The […]
Grief, Mourning, And Public Grief: What’s The Difference?
The words Grief and Mourning are often used interchangeably. Additionally, the term Public Grief can be confusing. So here’s a guide to the differences between Grief, Mourning, and Public Grief. GRIEF Simply put, grief is what we feel inside of us. It’s the instinctive, natural response to losing someone we love. It’s all our thoughts, […]
Anger – A Woman’s Instinctive Response To Child Loss
Atroublesome emotion – anger. People shy away from it, repress it, bottle it up. We are taught to not show anger as children, and that carries into adulthood. Don’t vent! And oh boy, if you’re a woman, you’d better keep anger under control! It’s not feminine; it’s not lady-like, you’re crazy if you feel this […]
Organ Donation: Presuming Consent To Save Lives
A cultural shift has taken place in Britain. Organ donation has been hotly debated, and following a campaign to change the law, a new Act of Parliament cleared its last hurdle in Parliament this week. Named after the recipient of a heart, a young boy named Max who was being kept alive with a mechanical […]
Detainment: The Film That Should Have Never Been Made
The Oscars eulogize the glamorous, the talented, and the deserving in the film-making industry. Or so one assumes. But tonight there will be one glaring exception: Vincent Lambe’s Detainment. Named in the best live-action category, it’s one movie that, in my view, should never have been made, let alone nominated. And I’m not the only […]