In the first years after my son’s death, the mere mention of the word ‘healing’ made me recoil. Healing. It’s a simple, comfort word, right? A concept that all right-minded people believe is a healthy thing, supposedly the ultimate goal for those who are suffering. So why, I used to ask myself, DOES HEALING FEEL […]
Learning To Live With The Thought That My Child Suffered
How does one come to terms with the thought ‘Did my child suffer?’ How am I meant to live a quiet, present life when this question has the power to push me back into raw grief? If I let it, the thought of my child’s last hours alive can send me into a tailspin. Images […]
A Grief Like No Other
Words that were meant to console and comfort but missed the mark were a part of raw grief. “Give it time. It’ll get better,” I was told as I struggled to breathe within the nightmare that was my new normal. Haven’t we all been there? The well-meaning friends supporting us as we stand shell-shocked following […]
Links To Other Articles by Katja
A list of recent articles published in Still Standing Magazine, can be found below: Making Evil Banal: Here’s Why We Should Boycott ‘Joker’ — October 1st, 2019 ‘People Do Care’: A Doctor Speaks On The National Day Of Remembrance For Murder Victims — September 25th, 2019 A Conflict Of Interests: An Open Letter To […]
Secondary Losses – How Long Is Your List?
The death of our child is termed a ‘primary loss‘. Sadly, it’s not the only loss we must endure. Many bereaved parents fail to realize that the moment our child dies, we begin to experience ‘secondary losses‘. And these, like the devastating loss of our child, must also be grieved. For those new to the […]
The Film First Man Perfectly Depicts What Life-long Grief Looks Like
Having planned to take part in #ADayStillStanding with Still Standing Magazine, but unsure how my Monday would look, I was surprised to find myself at my laptop in the early hours of 8th October reflecting on the movie First Man which I had only just seen at the Zurich Film Festival. Damien Chazelle’s film focuses […]
Words That Heal
Initially, the words that helped me to survive the first couple of years were those written by others who’d walked this path before me. I devoured articles and books on loss, desperate to find connection and the elusive feeling of being less alone. Amazon became my ‘go to’ place; books arrived and were placed on […]
Releasing Emotions Without Fear Of Judgement
When tragedy strikes most of us don’t know how to release our emotions naturally and safely. Instead, we tend to bottle them up. Afraid of being judged by others we hide the agony of our loss. Quite possibly, we’ll scream when no one hears or sob uncontrollably in the car. I know I did and […]
Purpose
These two. They give me the courage to be the best version of me. And, The one that is missing. The one that is gone. The one, brutally taken from us, all of us, ripped out of our lives, leaving us breathless from lack of air, suffocating like he did, gagging on our grief because […]
Finding Sanity In The Midst Of The Madness Of Loss
Putting my story and my son’s life into context was important to me after Alex was killed. The grief was overwhelming. I was so deeply lost in the horror of what had happened and the terrifying thought of the rest of my life without him, that I yearned for something, anything, that would help me […]